Revisiting an Old Friend

There’s an old saying, “Fear came knocking on the door, faith answered, and no one was there.”

This was a day when a couple of old trepidations slithered their bony gray fingers up to my door knocker and rap-a-tap-tapped. I felt the sting in my chest cavity and that  way-to-familiar queasiness in my stomach. But then I did something different. I said a prayer. It wasn’t much. It was proceeded by a little attitude and a little query. “So how come it seems, Jesus, that you don’t work very quickly?” Then I remembered.

I remembered all the string of miracles like Christmas lights in the night stretching out into the tunnels of time. Then I said to him, “I know you have a plan, and I am not just saying that. I really do see that you work stuff out. But is there any chance on that big “Yes” we’ve longed for, for so long? Just wondering…”

Well at least two “Yes” answers came flying in today. Probably more, if I poke around.

But there’s something more in this simple story of a bit of faith.

Remember when I said I did something different. You see faith has been hard to come by lately. When it’s “No” all the time, the heart gets a little crispy on the edges. Not completely solid, but certainly not that any-thing-can-happen-childlike kind of  faith…as my baby girl has.

No, I have cloaked myself in a bit of rationalism, with a sprinkle of distraction, and a whole cup of busyness, as some sort of concoction to ward off the cool fog of sadness over that damn dream deferred.

But today I revisited an old friend: faith.

I’ll have a cup of tea with her tomorrow and we’ll see what happens.

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